Trigger warning: violence, abuse.

I want to answer this question for you since you clicked on this post.

My sister and I have to lie every time someone asks us this question; it is exhausting. People who are curious enough to ask this question should get to know the answer.

I am from a dysfunctional family and have an especially dysfunctional mother. My mother neglected and abused both of her children in 2007 - 2017. In the early years, violence was a very frequent, more-than-weekly occurrence, which then decreased to monthly and finally yearly by the time we moved out of state for college.

When I was young I was afraid of the sunset. Sunset happened right before my mother would come home from working at the airport and abuse my sister, while I watched in terror. Through the years, my sister had strands of hair pulled out, her shoulder dislocated, had a black eye, and we would be hand-on-ankle-dragged then thrown into the garage with the house door slammed shut as a punishment. Sometimes, I would get my neck pinned against the wall and thrown into the bathtub.

Our mother manipulated everyone including us [Ryu and his sister] to believe we were normal as a small, happy family. We thought it was normal, as family matters are typically kept private, and we were naive children who did not know how bad it was.

I tried to run away multiple times, and each time I would have to return due to financial pressure since I was a teenage runaway. I tried my best to earn my way out by working part time jobs at Sprouts, Slim Chickens, Valvoline Oil Change, and Jiffy Lube because of their lower age restrictions. Eventually I was disowned by my family, and although I had confidence in my computer skills to make money, I wanted aid for my college tuition (I wanted to be Out-of-state). I finally gained physical freedom when I moved to Seattle.

Kevin Martin was absolutely instrumental in helping me get into a good college by helping me write my whole story in a college-focused way. He geniunely changed my life and I could not have gotten to where I am without him.

Most of my peers seem to remember childhood with school events, family outings, and special interest groups being most memorable when asked in a public setting. Unfortunately, the above memories are what dominated my life choices and thoughts during my childhood (~8 years old to ~17 years old, 2008-2017). I learned computer science because it would give me useful skills to financially escape my mother’s coercive control, and it happened to be something I was naturally interested in too (I became interested after using horizonmb to mod Xbox games when I was 12).

When people ask me “So… how was your childhood, Ryu?” in a public setting, or when I am being interviewed, or when someone wants to get to know me, I panic and lie. What would you say if you were in my shoes and someone asked, “So how’d you get into computers?”, during an interview for a job you need to escape your family? I had people accuse me of making up my childhood (I was!) after my lies contradicted themselves. I refuse to put any more effort into censoring my whole childhood and reason for “getting started in computer science”. I have no hard feelings against the question itself; I just need to write this where curious people can see.